5 sizes · S to XXL Strong suction-cup base Waterproof — shower-safe 100-day no-questions returns Discreet plain-box shipping
You answered the Call. We’re not going to pretend we don’t know which size you’re eyeing. Five tentacles from polite (Small) to “summon the Old Ones” (XXL), each with ridged eldritch texture and a suction base that sticks to anything flat. Start small, climb the ranks, or just pick “BUY ALL 5” and skip the small talk. R’lyeh approves.
The Call of Cthulhu — five tentacles, one descent into the deep
Most tentacle toys give you one size and one vibe. ADP’s Call of Cthulhu ships as a five-size eldritch ladder — same ridged, lifelike tentacle texture, same strong suction base, scaled from a friendly Small all the way up to a genuinely mythic XXL. It’s waterproof, bendable, and built for solo descents or dragging a partner down with you. The lore promised forbidden depths. This is the hands-on field guide.
Pick your tentacle — the eldritch ladder
Small · Medium — the initiates
~11–16 in (~28–40 cm)
Where sane cultists begin. Manageable girth, full ridged texture, strong suction base. The “I’m curious about tentacles but let’s be reasonable” entry point.
Large · XL · XXL — the devotees
up to ~25 in (~63 cm)
For buyers who read the size chart and felt called. Serious length, serious presence. XXL is a commitment, a conversation piece, and a personality trait. No judgment.
Can’t pick just one tentacle? The “BUY ALL 5!” variant ships the entire eldritch ladder in one plain box — start small, work your way down into madness, and never have to re-order mid-ritual. It’s the variant the page is pushing hardest, and yes, that’s on purpose.
Why $39.99 not $80 (the math)
The $80 compare-at is the import-shop tax — what a five-size silicone-TPE tentacle set runs after borders and a confused customs desk. ADP’s direct price is 50% off, ships in a plain box with “gift” on the customs label, and includes the 100-day no-questions return no Amazon seller offers on an opened personal product. You skip the middleman, not the texture. The ridges still feel exactly as eldritch as the $80 version.
What's in the box
| Detail |
Spec (US first · metric) |
| Sizes |
Small · Medium · Large · XL · XXL (or BUY ALL 5) |
| Length range |
11–25 in (28–63 cm) across the size run |
| Material |
Liquid-silicone TPE |
| Texture |
Realistic ridged tentacle — lifelike scales & ridges |
| Base |
Strong suction cup — sticks to any flat surface, harness-compatible |
| Build |
Flexible & bendable shaft |
| Waterproof |
Yes — shower- and tub-safe |
| Best for |
Solo play & couples |
| Compatible with |
Water-based lube ✓ · warm-water rinse ✓ · air-dry ✓ |
| Not great with |
Silicone-based lube (degrades TPE) · dishwasher |
| Discreet shipping |
Plain outer box · no anime art · customs reads “gift” |
| SKU |
OH-MO-031 |
What's in the box
- 1× Call of Cthulhu tentacle in your selected size (or all 5 with the bundle)
- Plain outer shipping box — no art, no branding, customs form reads “gift”
- Care card with cleanup, lube and storage tips
- Suction base ready to mount — shower wall, floor, or harness
Receive it in 3 steps
- Choose your descent. Start Small, commit to XXL, or grab BUY ALL 5 and own the whole ladder. Add a water-based lube to clear the $99 free-shipping line.
- Wait for the plain box. Handling 1–2 business days, then 7–14 days standard shipping to the US and most countries (express ≤7 days at checkout). Plain outer packaging, customs reads “gift.” Nobody on the porch summons anything.
- Mount, lube, descend. Warm-water rinse out of the box, press the suction base to any flat surface, water-based lube only, enjoy responsibly. Rinse after, air-dry, store dry. Waterproof means the shower is fair game.
Made for
- Tentacle-tag veterans who’ve wanted the real thing since their first doujin
- Size explorers who’d rather climb the ladder than guess once and regret it
- The collector who saw “BUY ALL 5” and was sold before reading the bullets
- Shower fans — waterproof + suction base = the tile wall is now in play
- Buyers who need the package to not announce “giant tentacle” to anyone on the porch
100-Day No-Questions Guarantee
Order it. Open it. Use it. If the size, texture, or suction isn’t right — full refund within 100 days, no questions, no awkward email thread. Return ships in the same plain box it arrived in. Most shops give you 30 days or zero on an opened personal product. We give you 100, because the buyer brave enough to order a five-size eldritch tentacle ladder online deserves a zero-judgment return window. We’ve been doing this since 2008.
FAQ — the questions you almost asked
Which size should I actually start with?
If it’s your first tentacle, start Small or Medium — full texture, manageable girth, room to grow. Large/XL/XXL are for buyers who already know their preference. If you genuinely can’t decide, the BUY ALL 5 bundle lets you climb the ladder at your own pace and is cheaper than buying sizes one at a time.
Is the suction base actually strong?
Yes — it grips any clean, flat, non-porous surface: shower tile, hardwood floor, a smooth wall. Press firmly to push the air out for the best hold. It’s also harness-compatible if you’d rather take the Old Ones for a walk.
Is it really waterproof? Can I use it in the shower?
Fully waterproof — shower and tub safe, no electronics to worry about. The suction base sticks to wet tile, which is a feature, not a coincidence. Rinse it under the same water when you’re done.
Is the package discreet? I live with people.
Yes. Plain brown outer box, no anime art, no brand name, no “ADULT” sticker, customs form reads “gift” or “toy.” Built for buyers living with parents, roommates, dorm RAs, or partners who don’t share the hobby. Even the XXL ships without announcing itself.
What lube should I use?
Water-based only. Silicone-based lube degrades the TPE over time; oil-based is also a no. The longer sizes drink lube — buy a bottle, clear the $99 free-shipping threshold in the same plain box.
How do I clean it?
Warm-water rinse before and after, mild soap, pay attention to the ridges where lube collects. Pat dry, air-dry fully, store somewhere dry and out of direct sun. No dishwasher, no boiling, no microwave.
How long does shipping take to the US?
Handling is 1–2 business days before it leaves the warehouse. Standard shipping is 7–14 days to the US and most countries (free on orders $99+). Express is 7 days or less at checkout. No signature required.
Can I return it if I open it and the size is wrong?
Yes. 100 days, no questions, opened or unopened. Plain-box return shipping. Most shops won’t take opened personal products at all. We do — getting stuck with the wrong-size tentacle is exactly the kind of thing the 100-day window exists to fix.
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